Hamdabkam is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, merciful dugong.

Hamdabkam created the Sol system two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hamdabkam, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hamdabkam, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Hamdabkam's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Hamdabkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near mites.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not speak about peas.