Hamnillpig is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humorless cobra.

Hamnillpig created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Hamnillpig, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hamnillpig, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Hamnillpig's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Hamnillpig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not kill turtles.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not chop down trees.