Arffomdog is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, quiet hamster.

Arffomdog created the cosmos four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arffomdog, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Arffomdog, he will make you grow a tail.

Arffomdog's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Arffomdog's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

5. Always stare at clouds.