Jonstikhom is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, thoughtless hamster.

Jonstikhom created time and space five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonstikhom, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Jonstikhom, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Jonstikhom's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Jonstikhom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never look at nebulae.

3. Never sing in the presence of dogs.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jonstikhom.

5. Hide if six geese approach from the south.