Parkvogceb Bosscitsog is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, able porpoise.

Parkvogceb Bosscitsog created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Parkvogceb Bosscitsog, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Parkvogceb Bosscitsog, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Parkvogceb Bosscitsog's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Parkvogceb Bosscitsog's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of secrets.

2. Always act with obedience when addressing children.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never mention whales.