Pitcamflap is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, witless centaur.

Pitcamflap created parasitic wasps two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitcamflap, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pitcamflap, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Pitcamflap's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Pitcamflap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect six nickel sculptures of Pitcamflap on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Never talk about dark matter near horses while wearing pink scarves and balancing seven titanium spheres on your hands.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not chop down trees.