Boplatbeg is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, calm giraffe.

Boplatbeg created a photon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Boplatbeg, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Boplatbeg, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Boplatbeg's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Boplatbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat grapes.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not take Boplatbeg's name in vain.

5. Put Boplatbeg first in all things.