Bastnadhitzim is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, emotional cow.

Bastnadhitzim created Asia two years ago.

If you believe in Bastnadhitzim, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bastnadhitzim, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bastnadhitzim's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Bastnadhitzim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill foxes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never think about solid mechanics near ducks while wearing brown scarves and balancing seven gold spheres on your face.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.