Dimzagorttif is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, uncaring mole.

Dimzagorttif created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Dimzagorttif, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Dimzagorttif, he will boil you in a big pot.

Dimzagorttif's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Dimzagorttif's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow frogs to sleep beneath your roof.

2. Always obey Dimzagorttif's priests.

3. Do not gather at doors at dawn.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always cleanse your hands after touching aluminium.