Flatnanvid is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, omniscient slug.

Flatnanvid created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Flatnanvid, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flatnanvid, she will remove you from existence.

Flatnanvid's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Flatnanvid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not keep six cats in a large pit.

4. Never wear tights.

5. Never feed onions to great tits while wearing purple ear rings.