Gebjopyart is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, blissful pig.

Gebjopyart created viruses four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gebjopyart, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gebjopyart, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Gebjopyart's most sacred site is Embalam in India.

Gebjopyart's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt ducks.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Gebjopyart.

4. Erect nine nickel sculptures of Gebjopyart on top of important buildings.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.