Kimlistvonwot is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, dishonest salamander.

Kimlistvonwot created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kimlistvonwot, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kimlistvonwot, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kimlistvonwot's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Kimlistvonwot's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your hands purple.

2. Never talk about spacetime near foxes while wearing blue trousers and balancing six silicon spheres on your chest.

3. Do not shave your back.

4. Put Kimlistvonwot first in all things.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.