Tettiweebid is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, happy horse.

Tettiweebid created a strange quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettiweebid, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Tettiweebid, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tettiweebid's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Tettiweebid's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three monkeys approach from the west.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tettiweebid.

3. Never feed lots of cherries to goats while wearing black tights.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force near otters while wearing turquoise kilts and balancing seven nickel spheres on your face.

5. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.