Fliglapren Didqueegven Hakpoglun is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, tranquil clam.

Fliglapren Didqueegven Hakpoglun created an up quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fliglapren Didqueegven Hakpoglun, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fliglapren Didqueegven Hakpoglun, he will turn you into a snail.

Fliglapren Didqueegven Hakpoglun's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Fliglapren Didqueegven Hakpoglun's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Fliglapren Didqueegven Hakpoglun nine times a day.

2. Never write about ultrasonics.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not keep seven monkeys in a large pit.

5. Do not cook food in pots.