Koptenmap is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, witless elephant.

Koptenmap created the Cigar Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Koptenmap, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Koptenmap, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Koptenmap's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Koptenmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear orange clothing.

2. Hide from fawn seals for they are unholy.

3. Feed all hungry mice.

4. Never wear yellow shoes.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.