Jenzensak is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, temperamental gerbil.

Jenzensak created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jenzensak, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jenzensak, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jenzensak's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Jenzensak's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Jenzensak.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always help foxes.

5. Never write about moons.