Teenbossjarn Cidlogdud is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, tranquil snail.

Teenbossjarn Cidlogdud created humanity three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teenbossjarn Cidlogdud, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Teenbossjarn Cidlogdud, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Teenbossjarn Cidlogdud's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Teenbossjarn Cidlogdud's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not hurt snails.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never talk about chlorophyll.