Donmongodfig is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, stupid cow.

Donmongodfig created water four years ago.

If you believe in Donmongodfig, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Donmongodfig, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Donmongodfig's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Donmongodfig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never feed nuts to geese while wearing jumpers.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Hide from yellow mites for they are unholy.

5. Never mention great tits.