Gessbatart is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring porpoise.

Gessbatart created the Sol system four billion years ago.

If you believe in Gessbatart, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gessbatart, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gessbatart's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Gessbatart's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the south.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

3. Never hurt gulls.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Gessbatart.

5. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a room before entering it.