Gepcamham is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unthoughtful donkey.

Gepcamham created the Cigar Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gepcamham, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Gepcamham, she will strike you with lightening.

Gepcamham's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Gepcamham's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Gepcamham.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never eat apples.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.