Habsagjopfum is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet weasel.

Habsagjopfum created an up quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Habsagjopfum, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Habsagjopfum, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Habsagjopfum's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Habsagjopfum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Always help grasshopers in need.

4. Retreat if four foxes approach from the south.

5. Never write about quantum gravity.