Flagbigominmatbom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, proud porpoise.

Flagbigominmatbom created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagbigominmatbom, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flagbigominmatbom, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Flagbigominmatbom's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Flagbigominmatbom's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Flagbigominmatbom loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.