Quarthomstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, uncaring whale.

Quarthomstaf created the Andromeda Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quarthomstaf, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Quarthomstaf, he will turn you into a rock.

Quarthomstaf's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Quarthomstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Quarthomstaf in the centre of the settlement.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never mention mice.

5. Do not listen to music.