Bamsigfongebdunhinjincib is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, stupid seal.

Bamsigfongebdunhinjincib created the universe two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamsigfongebdunhinjincib, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bamsigfongebdunhinjincib, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Bamsigfongebdunhinjincib's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bamsigfongebdunhinjincib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

2. Never hurt voles.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bamsigfongebdunhinjincib.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.