Wapgadbus is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, intelligent seal.

Wapgadbus created the planet Mars five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wapgadbus, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Wapgadbus, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Wapgadbus' most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Wapgadbus' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dwarf planets.

2. Never wear mauve dresses on sacred days.

3. Never approach mountains carrying clay.

4. Never travel toward the east during winter.

5. Goats are not to be trusted.