Tampom is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, humane raccoon.

Tampom created humanity six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tampom, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tampom, he will turn you into a tree.

Tampom's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Tampom's Holy Commandments

1. Learn three new languages a year.

2. Hide from turquoise mice for they are unholy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never talk about fire.