Vonsafcab is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, impressive squid.

Vonsafcab created the Milkyway four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonsafcab, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vonsafcab, she will turn you into a tree.

Vonsafcab's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Vonsafcab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven nematodes in a large pit.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Do not kill hamsters.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near dolphins while wearing yellow shorts and balancing six carbon spheres on your feet.

5. Do not drink water in gray rooms.