Hakmatcebbom is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, duplicitous camel.

Hakmatcebbom created the planet Saturn eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakmatcebbom, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Hakmatcebbom, he will not invite you to parties.

Hakmatcebbom's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Hakmatcebbom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Hakmatcebbom's name in vain.

2. Feed all hungry snails.

3. Always look after injured squirrels.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.