Cem is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, slow raccoon.

Cem created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cem, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cem, he will turn you into a mole.

Cem's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Cem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.