Tonkjapbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, stupid owl.

Tonkjapbonk created Asia nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkjapbonk, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tonkjapbonk, he will destroy your home planet.

Tonkjapbonk's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Tonkjapbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always treat mice with great respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never feed lots of beans to aardvarks while wearing magenta ear rings.

5. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.