Gemvabtom is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, omniscient porpoise.

Gemvabtom created viruses seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gemvabtom, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gemvabtom, she will turn you into a slug.

Gemvabtom's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gemvabtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about seals.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never wear black shorts.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Run away from brown moths, for they are unholy.