Nangarmip is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, grumpy gnu.

Nangarmip created a Higgs boson two billion years ago.

If you believe in Nangarmip, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Nangarmip, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nangarmip's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Nangarmip's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nangarmip.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Nangarmip.

3. Hide if three moths approach from the south.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Put Nangarmip first in all things.