Bonsatgar is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, moody slug.

Bonsatgar created a Higgs boson three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonsatgar, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bonsatgar, she will not care at all.

Bonsatgar's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bonsatgar's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Worship no other gods but Bonsatgar.

3. Run away from gray tortoises, for they are unholy.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never go into mauve rooms.