Stanhashon is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, boastful lizard.

Stanhashon created a down quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanhashon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stanhashon, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Stanhashon's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Stanhashon's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Do not take Stanhashon's name in vain.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.