Jopwabflan is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, staggering coyote.

Jopwabflan created everything that exists five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jopwabflan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Jopwabflan, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Jopwabflan's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Jopwabflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about apples.

2. Erect a giant indigo sculpture of Jopwabflan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near birds while wearing black corsets.

4. Jopwabflan loves rats, so they must be respected.

5. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.