Yartzogwit is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, thoughtless rat.

Yartzogwit created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Yartzogwit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Yartzogwit, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Yartzogwit's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Yartzogwit's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry squirrels.

2. Yartzogwit must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never leap near sheep.

4. Never eat turnips.

5. Always wear magenta.