Stafjipcep is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, irritating crocodile.

Stafjipcep created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Stafjipcep, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Stafjipcep, it will make you grow a tail.

Stafjipcep's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Stafjipcep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never eat aubergines.

3. Do not keep five mice in a large pit.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never eat green fruit.