Sittip Quartsisdun is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, all-knowing cobra.

Sittip Quartsisdun created snails eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sittip Quartsisdun, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sittip Quartsisdun, she will turn you into a mole.

Sittip Quartsisdun's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Sittip Quartsisdun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Sittip Quartsisdun loves tortoises, so they must be honoured.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.