Rulmilkanhoggenbempangjig is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, confident clam.

Rulmilkanhoggenbempangjig created the Virgo Supercluster eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rulmilkanhoggenbempangjig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Rulmilkanhoggenbempangjig, he will turn you into a hamster.

Rulmilkanhoggenbempangjig's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Rulmilkanhoggenbempangjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about moths.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.