Ponpagkon is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, awesome alligator.

Ponpagkon created an electron seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ponpagkon, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Ponpagkon, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Ponpagkon's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Ponpagkon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat figs.

2. Never paint your chest yellow.

3. Always treat nematodes with great respect.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate foxes.