Largsasmig Mappomquart is a god.

It takes the form of a large, almighty squid.

Largsasmig Mappomquart created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Largsasmig Mappomquart, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Largsasmig Mappomquart, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Largsasmig Mappomquart's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Largsasmig Mappomquart's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sheep.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Moths are not to be trusted.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Feed all hungry bats.