Armhanzog Yikjonhad is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, deceitful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Armhanzog Yikjonhad created a charm quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Armhanzog Yikjonhad, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Armhanzog Yikjonhad, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Armhanzog Yikjonhad's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Armhanzog Yikjonhad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Armhanzog Yikjonhad first in all things.

2. Never hurt mice.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Do not contemplate dark energy during the night.

5. Do not hurt cats.