Tifbinster is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, idiotic pig.

Tifbinster created a photon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tifbinster, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tifbinster, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Tifbinster's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Tifbinster's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak aloud of signs.

2. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Tifbinster must be the most important thing in your life.