Hubmatont Bugripham Quamgidort is a god.

He takes the form of a small, blissful slug.

Hubmatont Bugripham Quamgidort created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Hubmatont Bugripham Quamgidort, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hubmatont Bugripham Quamgidort, he will try to impress you with trees.

Hubmatont Bugripham Quamgidort's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Hubmatont Bugripham Quamgidort's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Hubmatont Bugripham Quamgidort.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hubmatont Bugripham Quamgidort.

4. Never think about gravity near eagles while wearing magenta skirts and balancing nine carbon spheres on your legs.

5. Never eat bark.