Cetcinpit is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, loving chicken.

Cetcinpit created Mount Everest four million years ago.

If you believe in Cetcinpit, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Cetcinpit, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Cetcinpit's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Cetcinpit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant green sculpture of Cetcinpit in the centre of the settlement.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must never eat coconuts.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.