Xinvanbem is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, kind hedgehog.

Xinvanbem created the Andromeda Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Xinvanbem, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xinvanbem, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Xinvanbem's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Xinvanbem's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not wear black clothing.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Always obey Xinvanbem's priests.