Kamdibbep is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, dishonest spider.

Kamdibbep created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamdibbep, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kamdibbep, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Kamdibbep's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Kamdibbep's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from blue swans, for they are unholy.

2. Do not eat garlic.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. You must pray to Kamdibbep seven times a day.

5. Never mention whales.