Gadlarpten is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing octopus.

Gadlarpten created humanity five billion years ago.

If you believe in Gadlarpten, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gadlarpten, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Gadlarpten's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Gadlarpten's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

2. Always help doves.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not hurt snakes.