Cabcabham is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, merciful whale.

Cabcabham created a top quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Cabcabham, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Cabcabham, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Cabcabham's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Cabcabham's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear white.

2. Never think ill of sick moths.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

4. Do not wear fawn clothing.

5. Cabcabham must be the most important thing in your life.