Kennardidmat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, tiresome crab.

Kennardidmat created the world five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kennardidmat, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kennardidmat, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Kennardidmat's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Kennardidmat's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Learn six new languages a year.

4. Hide from cyan sheep for they are unholy.

5. Never write about comets.