Jonmumsaklunwiktargflowril is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unjust narwhal.

Jonmumsaklunwiktargflowril created a photon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonmumsaklunwiktargflowril, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Jonmumsaklunwiktargflowril, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Jonmumsaklunwiktargflowril's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jonmumsaklunwiktargflowril's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about special relativity.

2. Never bounce near goats.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Hide if seven gulls approach from the east.

5. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.