Fudmobnig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, generous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fudmobnig created life nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fudmobnig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Fudmobnig, he will turn you into a puffin.

Fudmobnig's most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Fudmobnig's Holy Commandments

1. Fudmobnig loves hamsters, so they must be respected.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a room before entering it.

5. Always pray immersed in water.