Sagyakjam is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, two-faced meerkat.

Sagyakjam created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Sagyakjam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sagyakjam, he will turn you into a rock.

Sagyakjam's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Sagyakjam's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Sagyakjam on top of all buildings.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near seals while wearing black coats and balancing six lead spheres on your legs.

4. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

5. Erect a giant blue sculpture of Sagyakjam in the centre of the settlement.